Bang - Zoom!!  To The Moon!

11 . 2 . 99

Blake: As ridiculous as it is for her to be sitting up in a cabin relating the woe that is her life, I must say that I absolutely love Elizabeth Kiefer’s energy that radiates through her in every word of dialogue and every action she makes. I always thought that true talent can do a scene by themselves, and be the scene-stealer. That may sound like a huge “duh” should be imprinted in large red letters over my head, but think about it. When an actor is alone in a scene, it’s the easiest time for the viewer to lose interest. No interaction, no dueling ego’s to be amused by. Such as the Danny monologue scene or any of the myriad Buzz soliloquies, this is a true test for an actor. And EK makes it work. Again, I know this whole storyline is stupid. But part of me felt for her today, and that’s solely due to EK and her firm grasp on her character. (btw, love Joe! Don’t know if I want to see more of him, but I liked that he called her on her little plot, and at least the guy can act. Did anyone see the guy’s similarities to JP?? They could be brothers! If they were gonna re-cast Ray, they should’ve hired this guy for the part!). Oh, and loved her pen name – Darlena LaCross. Nice little nod to SOW’s Marlena De Lacroix. I bet we’ll see it in a future column of hers. “Scurrying around like a little gerbil” – LOL!!

Sidenote: I was speaking with someone earlier complaining about AN (surprise!) and the conversation turned to the differences between good characters/bad actors and vice versa. We came to the conclusion that as frustrating as it is to see a character that is well-drawn but poorly portrayed (PG/Pilar), it’s just as sad to see a phenomenal actor being forced to utter the most nonsensical dialogue or put their all into a ludicrous storyline (PAS/JL anyone?).

Ross/Holly: Ok, during the first couple of scenes I was taking out my eyeballs and watching them roll all over the place. Why must we be forced to endure a pity party featuring two such respectable (*cough*) characters? “Poor me, my life sucks more than yours!” “Oh no no Holly, mine sucks worse cuz my wife is off with a tight-bunned Backstreet Boy!” Me: “I wish I were in Springfield so I could pull a Carmen on ya and smack you both upside the head.” But eventually, in part to the supreme chemistry between JvD and MG (I had missed her sanity, didn’t you?), I found myself laughing along WITH them, especially at the fact that Sam’s precious box came from a mail-order catalog. Someone sure snowed you, huh Holly?? Not as smart as you thought! But what was this “I should’ve known – he told me he was an ex-convict” business?? You are too, last time I checked, little miss I-think-I’ll-start-my-own-camp-imalittlecrazy-for-all-the-kids-in-town. Ok, back to Blake’s little delusions – um.. JvD and MG wigged me out there. Didn’t like it. Much preferred their real personas back in SF.

Reva: What? She wasn’t on? Ya sure?

Ben/Drew: Look at me, dancing around on the edge. I live here, ya know. Ok, do me a favor and forget everything you’ve known about Drew for the last year or so. Forget how much you despise her, forget about the total 180 in her character and how unrealistic it’s been. Forget her incessant quivering lip when she cries, and her over-emoting acting style (wow, did anyone get TB flashbacks during AN’s “performance” from the last couple of days? Woah.)… I digress. Just forget all that. Just for a minute. Cuz I did that today. And I liked Drew. I liked TB’s performance. I liked her chemistry with HB. I actually liked her. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Cassie yesterday, Drew today. Perhaps I’m PodCandy? Back to reality – Carmen, when you’re done with Pilar, can you come and kick the crap out of Drew? Her words of wisdom are beginning to gnaw on my very soul. Anyway… I wasn’t fawning all over her, I saved that for Hunt Block. That man has so much talent that it was literally making me tear up at the thought of his presence no longer on the acting canvas. It will be a truly sad day when we don’t get to enjoy his performances. But, um, one thing that drives me positively batty is his bug-eyed stare at Drew every time she starts to talk about how much she loves him or whatever. He looks like serial-killer-kidnapper-molester material there. Stop that Ben! You give me the wiggins!

Carmen/Pilar/Bill: Picture me, sitting on a little bench at the foot of my bed, which sits about 5 feet from my TV. When Pilar starts owning up to having these "feeeeeeeeelings” and about “I want Ben sooooooooooo bad that I can taste it!” (complete with her alien-like head jutting out into Carmen’s face) followed by running after Bill and pawing at the poor boy like a rejected dog begging for a bone, I literally (read: LITERALLY) was laughing so hard that I rolled off my little bench and fell on the floor. So I can finally say I really have ROFL’ed. Oh, that PG… always good for a gut-wrenching laugh. Carmen, as gullible as you’re being – great slapping technique, mawmaw!! SS seriously whupped on PG!! Hmm, pent up frustration with her acting “partner” perhaps? In any case, I enjoyed the smack immensely. Too bad it didn’t send her reeling into the corner, causing some blunt trauma to the head. I’ll take what I can get. Oh, and Bill.. dear, sweet, mini-Val Kilmer. Just when did he take speed-reading classes? He picked up that journal and had the whole jist of Pilar’s deep love for Ben in, what, 7.4 seconds? Pretty good! I vote for Bill to have the next nervous breakdown. Every woman in town is either jumping down his throat or rejecting him for Danny. Oh, and why didn’t Manny run into Carmen on their way out since she was standing up on the second floor balcony only moments after they left??

-- The following comments about Manny, etc. were written directly after 1st viewing of each scene. So, the impressions may change from scene to scene. --

Manny/IdioT-Bag: Is it over yet? Can I please take this razor blade away from my wrist?

     1st scene (before light): Michelle’s motives for wanting to keep the truth from Danny actually make sense here. I’m not for them lying to each other, and I do think that Danny has the right to know what Ben did, but I have a complete understanding for Michelle’s desperate attempt to keep this information away from Danny. And, as we all can see from the previews, it looks like he does find out. What I hated was her “Ben’s gonna pay for this” crap. Ok writers, we get it. She’ll be a suspect in Ben’s death. Thank you – next?? Enjoyed her little jabs at T-Bag about not really having to be forced into doing this. Michelle isn’t stupid, she’s onto everything T-Bag is doing. Then, thanks to the UBER-doc Rick, Danny is suddenly revived and coherent enough to be walking around? No wonder Rick’s the only doctor on call at the hospital, he’s a miracle-worker!

     2nd scene (after light): Someone needs to tell PAS to stop smiling throughout this scene. It’s as if he can’t help but realize the lameness that is this whole plot point. Poor guy just can’t get through it. And, um, shouldn’t his stomach have been pumped? To get the drug out of his system? *sigh* “You are gonna take the wrap for this, honey, you better believe you’re gonna take it because if you don’t, you’re gonna live to regret it IF you live at all.” Oh, Danny would be so proud. And if I’m not mistaken, I believe Joie broke the land-speed record for most syllables uttered in a single minute during this scene. In all seriousness, though, this was not only eye-popping unbelievable, it was seriously disturbing. I’m all for spunky Michelle, but the one that’s going around town threatening the LIVES of other people is too much for me to take. The first half of the quote above, I loved… the second half made me want to throw my hands up and strangle myself. The fact that it happened at ALL is not even what bothers me, it’s the fact that that statement could’ve held a LOT of weight in the Manny storyline. If Danny could hear Michelle threaten the life of another person (which he might, later this week, not sure yet), their whole storyline, and the crux of their internal struggles, as well as Danny’s greatest fear, could be explored with depth, love, and understanding. Instead, they throw it into this completely forgettable scene. Disappointing to say the least. Joie, however, impresses me more each day. If they chose to turn Michelle into a homicidal maniac who kills the entire town, I bet she’d make it believable.

     3rd scene: AN is gonna have bruises all over her body from all the man-handling Joie’s doing. Ok, ok, while I think that Michelle is making empty threats, the message that she’s been living under the same roof with someone capable to kill another human being at will, and the idea that their ways are rubbing off on her is not lost on me. This is huge! The Santos impact on a Bauer is MONUMENTAL! Why are they wasting it on this drivel!?!?!?!? Argh! LOL – Danny: “Michelle? Michelle.. Theresa.” He sounds like a father calling out to his daughters who are mixing it up in the corner.

     4th scene: Oh, lookie, the drugs aren’t all out of his system. He’s still acing a little loopy, no? OH!!! We got the “sszzhszhhszz” to quiet Michelle!! I love that!! Straight from the Santos Party scenes! “I just love you so much!” Oy. Oh Carmen?? We need you upstairs STAT to really make this little girl cry. Oh, Joie looks stunning in this scene, standing stoically by her husband. And, like Tracee (*sigh*), I just love it when Danny or Michelle call the other their “husband” or “wife”. It seems so lasting. PAS had been looking horrible the last week or so (horrible on him is a lifetime greater than most other men, however), but he looks positively scrumptious in this scene. Can AN come down a notch in octaves? She’s speaking as though she’s got a chunk of phlegm stuck in her throat. Swallow, dear. Idiotic. Thank you, Danny.

     5th scene: Nice try, AN. Your character is as bad an actress as you are in this role.

If you still have the tape of today’s show, go back to the Millennium scenes, and just watch the day players in their costumes. It’ll bring a smile to your face, I guarantee! Especially the girl in the evening gown with the monster face and the evil doctor behind Pilar/Carmen in their final scene shaking the plastic hand and brain like maracas. Simply hysterical.

Coming SOON on Guiding Light? Not tomorrow? Whatever.

Candy