Reality is for those who can't deal with Delusion 2 . 4 . 00
"Though
I've belted you and flayed you
THE FOLLOWING ARE JUST A BUNCH OF JUMBLED THOUGHTS THAT PROBABLY WON'T MAKE SENSE
So here I sit, just one day after news of Joie's possible departure has hit me. How am I feeling? Not good. I realize that 9 months is a long way away, and I really do know that anything could happen, but that doesn't change my initial reaction, and the way it's lingering in me like some dreaded disease. Should PAS stay? Do they re-cast Michelle? Do they kill her off? Who does Danny hook up with after she's gone? BAH! Shaddup! I don't want to hear it! Even if this is a soap, this issue is still about a loss. And it's not even so much about Michelle and Danny, it's as much about Joie and Paul as anything. The fact that we may be losing the most talented, beautiful, and graceful actresses that we've been privileged to witness is a sad thing. I won't apologize for feeling this way. Why should I? I've come to truly care for Joie and her Michelle. To me, nobody (and I do mean NOBODY) can take this role and ever make it their own like she did. People grumble about bringing Rachel Miner back, as she was such a beloved Michelle way back when. Fine, do that and I'll still think of her as the PODchelle - and I won't watch. There's no getting around that. Although I've never expounded on this, it's my true belief that Paul Anthony Stewart and Joie Lenz were put on this earth to act together. I've never in my life seen two people with such a connection. And I've seen a LOT of acting partners in films/tv shows/plays. This is a rare thing, it's not something that comes along every day. To paraphrase Danny, it's something that "everybody wants, but very rarely find". It's a gift. A real treasure (to be revered :P) that I fear I've been taking for granted, EVEN THOUGH I've known how special it is for some time now. It seems that they cannot receive enough recognition in my book. It's truly inspiring to see them in a scene together. As has been mentioned myriad times in every forum... Joie & Paul are able to make their connection in a scene with many other co-stars in the room. They stand out, it's almost TOO good sometimes. I have lost count how many times I've paused one of my tapes after watching a particularly amazing scene and just said to myself, "how do they do that?" You see, no matter how much I knew this would happen eventually (by either of them leaving), it didn't even come close to preparing me for the realistic smack in the face upon hearing a semi-official announcement. In order to avoid confusion, I need to be perfectly clear in stating that I very sincerely wish Joie only the best in her LIFE, not just her career. If this is what she needs to do, then I'm all for it. Ok, standard disclaimer over. Enough of that. I'm still reeling, and I'm going to allow myself to be selfish if only for a day or two more. And during that time I'll just keep thinking about how much I want Joie to stay, how much I want Paul to stay, and how much I wish there were still 25 YEAR CONTRACTS. I wish I could put into words everything that Manny has meant to me over the last 8 months or so... they've taught me and they've entertained me. They've made me think, and they've made me cry. They've made me appreciate the good stuff, and they've made me lament the bad stuff. But none of this would've happened with any two other actors, you see? It's not about Manny, it's about Stenz. As has been said a million times, there was never a Danny WITHOUT Michelle, and I don't want there to be one come November. And, in my eyes, there's never been a REAL Michelle without Danny, so "we have another fair's fair." I'm still in denial, there's no doubt in that. But this *will* hit me hard one of these days, and I'll have to retreat from the living for a while to cope. In the end, it's the memories that sustain us. It's the memories that I will treasure in my heart. It's the memories that I will call upon to fill the void that can never be filled by any other couple. But, unfortunately, I fear that the memories may fade, and I'm scared to death of that possibility. Hoping against hope, Candy
|
