Grandma's Mobster Mash

by Tah and Shay

Grandma was really cookin' the other day when she put Carmen in her place and decided to help Pilar expose Ben "for the devil that he is"!! You go Grandma!!!!! So, in honor of Grandma being sprung from the upper reaches of the Santos' Mausoleum, Shay and I offer up our own version of The Monster Mash in her honor. I secretly think that Grandma has us all fooled. I believe that she can really walk and that she has been going to Gold's gym to work out all these months, not on a cruise as many of you have thought!! I think when our dear villain Ben least expects it, Grandma will arise from her chair dressed in her wrestling unitard and shiny gold sneakers, put Hoover Man in a leg lock and choke the very life out of him.  (Of course these are my own mad ramblings, and not necessarily endorsed by Shay!) Of course to give credit where credit is due, the original tune was written by Bobby "Boris" Pickett and Lenny Capizzi. We may not be able to stomach the show today, but just think of Grandma, and what sage advice she might give. You know, Grandma's always know best.

We were groovin' at Millennium late one night
When our eyes beheld a freaky sight
For Grandma Santos from her wheelchair did rise
And suddenly to our great surprise

She did the mash
She did the mobster mash
The mobster mash
She was a hip hoppin' smash
She did the mash
Her lurching steps caught on in a flash

The whole joint was jumpin' to the jivey beat
All the folks in Springfield had a ringside seat
To watch that cute little devil and her vampire man
Do some dirty dancing, and make that Pi-ran-ha scram

They did the mash
They did the Salsa mash
The hottest mash
It was a Millenium Smash
The did the mash
Their grinding moves caused a GIANT hot flash
They did the mash
They did the Salsa mash

The Springfield elite were having some kick ass fun
This jammin party had just begun
The guests included Richard dressed like a big fat toad
Cassie as a princess, and Reva (well, lets not go down that road)

The Millennium was really rockin', all were digging the sounds
Carmen in chains, backed by Dietz and his hounds
The coffin bangers were about to arrive
With their choral group, "The Hit Man Five"

They played the mash
They played the "mob hit" mash
The mobster mash
Guaranteed to be a graveyard smash

They played the mash
Their .45's made it catch on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the "mob hit" mash

Out from his coffin, Ben's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Now, who's going to give things my ironic twist?"

He did the mash
He did the dead man's mash
The dead man's mash
And it's a graveyard smash
He did the mash
And soon he'll be thrown out with the trash
He did the mash
It's now the dead man's mash

Now everything's cool, Te-ray-sa's become a groupie and left with the band
And Danny and Michelle's Salsa is the hit of the land
For you, The Mannyacs, this mash was meant too
When you get to the door, tell them Grandma sent you

Then you can mash
You can do the mobster mash
The Millennium mash
It's guaranteed to be a Springfield smash
Then you can mash
You'll see, it will catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can do the mobster mash