Hubby's Vent: 15 Ways to Know You Are Married to a Mannyac...

by Ree

December 5, 1999

My husband handed me a sheet of paper today and this is what it said. I thought I would share it with you. Have you had a similar vent from hubby? Are we really like this?

15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE MARRIED TO A MANNYAC!!!!!!!!!

NO. 15 You go to bed at night alone with an eerie light emanating from the room that holds the computer - you also wake up alone with that same eerie light - having been joined during the night but being totally unaware of their presence. The up side to this is that you have learned to make a Queen size bed by yourself.

NO. 14 Due to the amount of time being invested in the Manny Discussion Board, you have not received a telephone call in quite some time. There is also the fear that you have miss judged the computer time and that you should have gone with the UNLIMITED package rather than the regular package. God only knows what that's going to cost?????

NO. 13 Your underwear drawer is empty and none of your socks match. You have quite an exciting experience on work mornings hunting undies-some days flannel undies can by enjoyable - but not in July Most mornings, the sock patterns may not match but at the very least the colors match- one blue with stripes/one blue with checks.

NO. 12 Many times you find yourself completely in the dark when you ask a question and are answered with - LOL, TPTB, OMG or ROTFLMAO. What language is this and how the h_ _ _ does one respond to them!

NO. 11 You arrive home early and proceed to prepare the evening meal. You have racked your brain and extended your culinary talents to impress your loved one, only to have her burst thru the door at full charge with the battle cry "Out of the way it's a Manny Day!!!!!"

NO. 10 Having cleaned the dishes and straightened the kitchen, you proceed to the den hoping to share some time with the wife only to be met with long past Manny tapes where you sit and watch the same scene played over and over. After a while, you find yourself able to quote the dialogue-it's time for bed.

NO. 9 While having a perfectly normal conversation with your wife, the subject suddenly shifts to a Manny episode or some occurrence taking place on the latest show. You feel as if you are having an out of body experience or possibly you blacked-out there for just a moment and have rejoined the conversation.

NO. 8 During your workday, you are assigned the task of locating the latest copy of some soap magazine so that your wife and your 80-year-old mother can vote for some obscure award. Checking out with an armload of these magazines is nearly as embarrassing as checking out with feminine hygiene products. Give me a break!

NO. 7 Attending a gathering of the Mannies, praying that one of them doesn't snap at the sight of PAS and have the rest of them take on the "Pack mentality" 'RUN, PAS RUN - YOUR ON YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!

NO. 6 Trying to have a perfectly normal conversation with your wife and she keeps signifying with something she calls "THE SANTOS SALUTE". It would appear to be some sort of gang sign - now what is she into?

NO. 5 You are not able to tape any daytime TV movies - and the alternative of putting your movie on the same tape with The Guiding Light episode is out of the question - these are to be kept for posterity - I know my future grandchildren can hardly wait to get their hands on these treasures.

NO. 4 Having to explain to perfect strangers what a "MANNY" is and how it came about. Try this sometime - I'm not sure whether they believe me or not (maybe they just think I'm not normal). There are times I question myself.

NO. 3 Trying to convince you friends and family that your wife's trip to New York for the GATHERING has nothing to do with witchcraft or some sort of covert organization which has set out to overthrow the government.

NO. 2 After explaining your wife's latest obsession with Manny to your son (had to explain what a MANNY was to him to) having him say to (after listening to his mother talk about Danny and Michelle for quite sometime) you. "Dad I think it's great that mom has an outside interest ; but, it's not normal and there are places that can help her"!

AND THE NO. 1 WAY TO TELL YOU ARE MARRIED TO A MANNYAC!!!!!!

You leave the house five (5) days a week with fear in your heart and the look of a trapped rabbit!! Having been assigned the task of setting the VCR to tape that day's episode, all that time knowing that the tape better be there when she arrives home. Knowing full well your fate is in your own hands, you start off into the work a day world praying that there are no news specials, World Series, NCAA championships or other program interruptions. Did I have the date right, was the channel right, how about the time? OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!

Ree's hubby, better known as Richie......I believe he loves his Mannyac and you guys too.