50 Ways To Survive A Manny Drought! by Tah and Shay November 11, 1999
Shay and I can't take the angst anymore. The board is reeling from spoilers, everyone in chat is depressed and our beloved Manny has been replaced with the Jeva Show. It has been the "summer of our discontent". So, we thought we'd try to "lighten" up the mood around here. We've compiled this list of things to do while we suffer through this "drought". We hope you enjoy them. Try a few out, you'll feel better. Add your own to our list. We can always use extracurricular Manny!!
1. Ask your hubby if he would mind shaving his chest, losing 30 pounds, and re-grow the hair on his head. Oh, and by the way, ask him if he can grow 3 inches! 2. Take the VCR in for extended repairs. Ask them to pay special attention to the FF, Rewind and Slo-Mo buttons. 3. Re-read every Fanfic ever written. 4. Contemplate the meaning of a Mannyless existence. In the indomitable words of Cher from the movie Clueless, "as if"!! 5. Flood your local Sears store with e-mails demanding that they bring PAS in for a personal appearance (now, not later)! 6. Have a PAS favorite movie marathon. Invite over some local Mannyacs, serve popcorn, and watch Babe, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and Braveheart. Better yet, make it a pajama party, and watch vintage Manny too! 7. Everytime you find yourself having a negative Manny thought just chant: I believe, I believe, I believe... 8. Have some Starbucks Dolce De Leche Ice Cream! (you know why) 9. Recite the "I Am A Man" speech backwards. 10. Take the names Danny and Michelle and see how many other words you can make up using the letters of their names. For example: cinema, yam, dill and lend. It's fun. :) 11. Taking letters cut out of magazines and newspapers, write a cryptic letter to TPTB. Be creative! Make sure there are no fingerprints on it, and for goodness sakes mail it from a secret locale. 12. Emulate Danny and Michelle and drink yourself silly through the rest of the San Cristocrap storyline. Might we suggest Tequila?! 13. Learn all the dance moves to Ricky Martin's "Livin La Vida Loca" video. You never know when PAS may ask you to dance (WOO HOO). Hint: While watching the video just superimpose PAS's face over Ricky Martin's and you'll have those dance steps learned in two seconds flat! 14. While making your A.M. pot of coffee, just visualize that you and PAS will share each cup down to the very last drop. If that visualization doesn't work you can always invite Juan Valdez and his da** donkey over to share your Java. 15. Treat yourself to a box of chocolates, and as you bite into their soft creamy centers... (Well, we'll let you finish that thought.) 16. Re-watch the pre- masked Ball scenes, and count the number of sequins actually glued to JL's body. (This is for you manly Mannyacs!) For us women, see if you can find the one sequin glimmering on PAS perfect form. (Hint: it's under a lapel.) 17. When calling your children, or speaking to them, try having the first words to come out of your mouth not be "be quiet"! 18. Try using your computer for something other than reading transcripts, listening to waves, posting, and reading all the Manny boards and websites. Oh, forget it. It is an impossibility!!! 19. While giving your significant other a back rub after "nookie", see if you can spell PAS's initials by playing connect the freckles. If he doesn't have any freckles, just trace PAS's name or initials onto his back in long, lingering caresses. They'll be turned on, and so will you! 20. Get a foam brick and throw it at the T.V. every time that Jeva, Cassie, Bethetic, or ______ (fill in your favorite) is on the show. Give yourself bonus points if you hit them square in the kisser. Half points only, if your pitch goes wild and partially hits your intended target. 21. Start writing a Fanfic using this as your first sentence: As the storm intensified outside Danny and Michelle's bedroom window the electrical energy inside their room... 22. While eating a can of Alphabet soup, see how many Manny related words you can spell out with your pasta letters. Some of our choices would be : tongue, in or out, OMG!, THUD, Ice, and Oxygen. 23. Next time you visit your local grocery store only go through the line of the checker named Paul. If you don't have a checker or bagger named Paul at your local grocery store, please ask the manager to special order one. :) Oh, and while you're there make sure to pick up some Hot Italian Sausage. We hear it's very good! (this one was for our chat buddies) 24. Make Danny and Michelle Paper Dolls. Don't forget to make a little leather jacket for him, and a pink sweater for her! 25. Sing "100 Manny Nookie Scenes Are All We Need" to the tune of "100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall". 26. Make your own dart board using pics of characters we'd like to forget. Score high points for a bulls eye! 27. Play the 6 degrees of PAS game (as opposed to the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game). Let's make new rules though. Choose any eps. you want and then categorize them under: HOT, Very Hot, Muy Caliente Hot, Liquid Magma Hot, Scorching Hot, or Skin Burning, Eye Blinding, Puddle Of Mush Hot. Doesn't this sound fun? 28. Send a Manny postcard or Posty to all 618 registered members of the Mannyac Board. Follow Michelle5's lead. She has already sent 100! You go girl! (By the way, thanks Michelle the thought was appreciated!) 29. Make some Top Ten Lists. For example, Shay and I made one up for the Top Ten Reasons We Like LW as Cassie: 1. Doesn't have PAS for a love interest
anymore. 30. Now that we have excess time on our hands, we need to take up a collection to buy our poor Danny some socks. It was bad enough for him to get hit in the head again (in the same spot), but he didn't even have any sockies on! You know from PAS's interviews, he likes to walk around in his white socks. So, let's get the Sock Fund started now!! 31. Imagine Danny and Michelle's love
(sex) scenes written from the point of view of some of Shay and I's
favorite movie nookie scenes. Can't you see them re-creating these great
moments: 32. Have fun imagining the Ben Warren demise "whodunit". I can hear these lines: Nino: That's the last time you'll ever ask me if I want a cookie, W-A-R-R-E-N. Carmen: I'm so sorry Benjie! I didn't realize my pent up love mojo could kill!! Pilar: I knew my stiletto "hoochie" shoes would come in handy someday. Dietz: I ain't taking orders from you anymore you hoover suckin, doin my woman, lousy lawyer! Make up some of your own. You and I know there will be loads of suspects! 33. Think of all the sexual connotations of the Santos Salute and all it's variations. (By the way, when Shay first joined the Mannyac board she thought the Santos Salute was a reference to Danny at "full attention"). 34. While out doing errands, make eye contact with a gorgeous stranger, especially if he has luxurious curls. Be bold, ask him if his name is Danny, or better yet, Paul. If no, ask him if he'd like to change his name. :) 35. During those "down" moments, listen to PAS's "Yo Yo Yo" Mannyac message over and over again. You'll feel better in no time. 36. Have a "Calgon take me away from San Cristocrap" bubble bath. Invite someone in to play "submarine" with you! 37. Learn to speak a foreign language, Spanish for Danny, Italian for Paul. You never know... 38. Familiarize yourself with the "real world", but only long enough to realize that living in Mannyland is the best place to be!! 39. Wonder if PAS is taking his vacation in your hometown, and if he is, what would you do if you met him. 40. Edit your Manny tapes for your friends (like Shay). The only drawback is, you have to suffer through San Criscocrap again. No, even in FF it drags on and on. 41. Read War and Peace. 42. Attempt to clean out your tupperware cabinet. Oh, who the he** cares. Just use ziploc baggies for everything! 43. Invite your family over for dinner. Tell them how much you love them and care for them, then tell them you'll have them over again after Fall sweeps! 44. Go have that hacking cough checked out now. Once our lovebirds hit SF things should heat up really fast. You want to be in the best of health for what looks like a tough time ahead for Danny and Michelle. 45. Make sure to start getting ready now for the Mannyac Convention in St. Louis. Get those excess pounds off, have the grey colored, and buy that leather jacket you've always wanted. 46. Call your local CBS affiliate and tell them if you have to watch the Liberty Medical Company commercial with Marjorie anymore, you are going to send them the hospital bill when you hack up your liver!! 47. Speaking of commercials, how about we steal Ben Stein's big ole eyeball from the Visine commercial and give it to those good folks at GL. Maybe it would help them to "see" clearer, and get a better "view" of the Big Picture! Stop yanking our chains, give us our Manny! 48. Make a Creative Memories scrapbook of all your Manny pictures. Forget about finishing up your children's books, Manny takes priority. :) 49. Flood the CBS mailbag with the same letter, detailing your discontent at the Manny storyline. Maybe if they re-read the same thoughts over and over, it will make an impression! It's doubtful, but worth a try! 50. Bask in the glow of your Manny devotion. You deserve it if you've read this entire post. I know I need to take a few moments!! Thanks for hanging in with us!! Hey, I thought I'd add a few more, cause the drought still has to stretch through Sunday. Thanks for the other additions! If you think of more, please add them!! 51. Have you jumped rope lately? Now's your chance. I stole my jump rope rhyme from "Teddy Bear' Teddy Bear". Mine goes like this: Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Turn Around 52. While being forced to watch Football with your significant other (cause he feels neglected), just pretend that you're the center and you've just snapped the ball to PAS/Danny. Oh, the possibilities!! Reverse the positions if you want for variety. :) 53. Clean the lint out of your dryer, and your belly button too! 54. Buy a toy cell phone. During "high tide" frustration with TPTB and the writing, try throwing it across the room. You get bonus points if it hits the wall and breaks up into little pieces. 55. Leave the Mannyac board only long enough to go to Yahoo Maps. Calculate the exact distance from your home to the GL studios in Manhattan. It could be time for a road trip in your Maroon Chevy Lumina. 56. Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. Watch the Mrs. Silva fiasco almost love scenes in slo-mo. If you begin to sweat profusely, stop immediately! Resume watching on regular play. 57. Play your own version of Manny Monopoly. Instead of Boardwalk, use Highridge Rd. (the address of Casa Santos), instead of the Reading RR, use the Lighthouse. You get the idea, now add your own. Of course, for playing pieces, you could have tiny replicas of a black leather jacket, a cell phone, a yacht, a prada slingback, a lighthouse, and a plane. Hey, this might be fun! 58. Needlepoint a pillow with your and Danny/PAS's initials inside intertwining hearts. To complete the fantasy, add a Wedding date. Well, that's it for now. I shall retire to indulge myself in vintage Manny. Don't despair, this drought will soon be over. I believe, I believe, I believe... Tah and Shay- who love Manny to the Heights of Giddiness and to the Depths of Despair!
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