Our Mannyac Desert and Our Oasis

by Heidi

August 28, 2000

Well, Mannyacs, what a strange and amazing journey it has been so far. We gathered the necessary supplies-- our vcr's, our tapes, our subscriptions (not to mention alcohol, oxygen, and ice). We luckily found this Mannyac Board as our compound, our home base, our center of operations for all things Manny, and we settled here.

Nomads we were, all of us, wandering around the desert of mocking and terribly unsupportive family and friends. But we found this blessed oasis and decided to share the journey. We made that choice not only because we found we all shared the obsession, but also because we each saw this couple in the same light. Truly this is a pair with a love that transcends time, circumstance, and even, willingness. Michelle and Danny, they could not stop loving each other if they tried-- their love can survive on its own, nothing can touch it.

So the Mannyacs banded together, spectators to the couple on the screen, but incredibly invested in their story. And we watched and voyaged together, show after show, storyline after storyline, mile after mile. Sometimes it got hot in the desert and we needed that darn ice, sometimes the wind blew around us and made it hard to see what was really there, and sometimes we forgot where the heck we were and had to speculate and wonder where we would end up next.

But always, always, we were looking for the next source of water. A stream, a watering hole or a magical geyser-- it didn't matter. We were thirsty, us Mannyacs, always thirsty for more. More airtime, more story, more depth, more character examination, meaningful conversation, carefree fun, mind-blowing nookie. And our desires seemed reasonable to us. We knew they were worth it, it was just nuts that others couldn't see the same thing we did.

And really, why can't others see how special and phenomenal this pair is? Who knows-- maybe they have some mental block against guys who wear black leather jackets, or an adverse reaction to gals in pink. Is it some chance life experience that makes you fall in love with a certain couple's story? Something deeper and more meaningful? I don't know. All I know is that we did fall for them, and that if we as Mannyacs want so many different things for them, it's only because we care so much.

So in our travels in the sand and the dunes, we always kept looking for that water-- the things we wanted for Manny, the things we knew they deserved. We knew we were in no paradise-- we saw the vultures flying overhead from time to time. Sometimes they were subtle and flying high, and other times they were disturbingly bold, going right for the eyes of our beloved pair. And we try to fight them off ourselves, all the in-laws, the set-ups, the jail cells, the trials, the enemies, the obstacles that seem to exist as nothing but a never-ending battle for Manny.

But like the spectators we are, all we can do is keep our eyes on the horizon for that vast lake we hope is in the distance. That ultimate source of water-- that huge payoff, the final triumph for Manny over the negative forces in their lives, the house in the woods, the "life" they so badly want.

And we travel and watch together, and as Manny gets closer every day, so do we. When one stumbles in their belief that Manny will triumph in the end, we help them up, still hopeful. When one can only see the ink black of the desert night, we remind them the sun will be coming up soon. When it gets too hot, we share the ice. When one gets hysterical, we pass the oxygen tank. When one shares something funny, we laugh together. When one notices an interesting piece of minutia everyone else missed, we all take a second glance. And when one finds the sun too harsh and they close their eyes-- when they find the show too painful to watch-- we take their hand and walk along beside them.

We try to remain upbeat in this journey, but the only time we pull it off effortlessly is when water is plentiful. Fulfilled and happy, swallowing every drop we can, we almost forget how it is with nothing to drink. We celebrate the water, we gush over how good it feels on our parched throats. We never want to go a day without a drink, and the more water we have, the harder it is to stay satisfied when there is none.

The most disheartening aspect of our desert journey is, of course, the mirage. We see something in the distance. We get hopeful and think it might even be that lake we've been dreaming about. We run toward it, excited-- we can't even feel the load on our backs anymore. Then we arrive at the place we swore we saw something, only to be greeted by sand, as far as the eye can see. The spoilers, the speculation we talked about turned out to be something totally different from what we see onscreen.

For a while afterwards, the load on our backs seems ten times heavier, and we may be completely tired of the journey. Our hope, at least for a time, is crushed and we wonder if there is even a reason to start hoping again. Maybe you take a break from the show or the spoilers, or maybe you stop watching altogether. But still, you haven't left entirely. You're still traveling with us, perhaps convinced there will be no final payoff, but enjoying the nomad Mannyacs too much to leave for good.

So here we are, still a part of this voyage after two years. And now, all of a sudden, it seems like this could be the end. After all this time we've spent being a part of this Mannyac oasis, we think we see something else in the distance. Some of us think it looks like civilization, the non-Manny life we lived before we left our other soaps or other couples behind. This could be it, two months from now we could arrive at the possible town in the distance only to find our couple gone. We'll have to reach it, look around to see what's there, and decide for ourselves what to do next.

Others see the shape in the distance as that lake we've been searching for. Finally, with the new writers and story, some believe Manny will get that payoff that they deserve. That Manny, whether they are leaving or not, will at least have the proper payoff and conquer those obstacles, internal and external, to emerge stronger and more committed than ever before.

Still, some of us see nothing in the distance at all. Just more sand, just more of the same story Manny has already gone through. There's no big changes coming in the future. Manny's not leaving, and they're not conquering any of their problems anytime soon. All we know for sure is random events that are coming up soon. New writers doesn't mean Manny is over, but it doesn't mean they're going to be the same from now on, either.

So we continue on, not really sure where we're headed, not really sure if we want to know. But I'm just grateful for the fact that we're on this journey together. To support, to help, to laugh, to vent, to share. I, personally have never been a part of anything like this before, and I'd like to think I'm better for this ongoing experience. This band of Mannyacs we journey with is really something awesome. Throughout the desert of all our uncertainties and fears, we have this oasis that I'm just happy to travel with.

So let's raise our almost-empty canteens to us, the Mannyacs, who recognized something special when we saw it, and didn't hold back in our love for this couple. I think we've seen enough of Manny in the last two years to realize that, whatever happens in their future, their love is forever. I think they have a love that only comes along once in a great while, and I'm grateful I even get the chance to witness it. So whatever is there lurking in the distance, whatever it turns out to be, doesn't really matter. Our Manny. Their great love. And our love story. We know how special they really are.

Heidi-- can't focus on any issues, just feeling sentimental