Here we are!

by Michelle and Danny

June 1, 2000

Hello there everybody!

We've been told that a few of you are wondering where we are. Well, we've been on our own little vacation the last few day, just relaxing in bed, talking about our "little baby Santos" and having wild, passionate sex all day and night. Too bad you won't get to see it, but I think we remembered to turn on the video camera, right honey?

We sure did!

Great! You know, Michelle, I have a really good feeling about this "let's pretend to be mobsters" plan I came up with. I think it could really work. Then, finally, we can get on with our life.

Just keep that little ADD girl away from me and I think I can handle it. But there's something about that Carlos that's bothering me.

What is it, sweetie?

What's with his hair?

I think it's bullet-proof. Smart man, that Carlos.

Sure is. Danny, you know I'm starting to worry about something. I'm starting to wonder if we're ever going to be free of your mother.

Of course we are sweetie, she's helping us remember? She's testifying to save us, because she loves us...... well, she loves me...... I think, well I know she loves the baby.

Maybe, maybe. But I can't shake the feeling that something's going on.

It's ok baby, here let me try to help you relax.

Oh! What's that? Oh my goodness, Danny, that isn't...... oh my god... it's....

That's right, baby.

It's your thumb! I've missed it so much! But we better make this one a quickie, we have.... ahem.... an audience.

Oh that's right, so before Michelle and I head back on upstairs to that bedroom you never see, are there any questions for us since we've been away? Michelle, sweetie, come on, what are you doing?

I'm just talking to the baby......

I'm not carrying the baby, sweetie, and if I were, I definitely wouldn't be carrying it down there.

Party pooper. So, who's up first?

Well, from the looks of things, it's me!

by Prince Richard Winslow

June 1, 2000

I'd be ever so eternally grateful my dear man if you'd, well, this is rather embarrassing, but should one move one's mouth during the act of kissing, or should one just keep that stiff upper lip??

by Danny and Michelle

June 1, 2000

Richard, Michelle here, I think I can answer this one. I can honestly say that Danny is by far the best kisser I've ever experienced. His technique is like none I've ever encountered. You see, he does this thing with his tongue where he slides...

Uhhhh honey, Richard doesn't need to hear this.

Oh sure he does! Honey, have you ever seen him kiss? He really needs some tips.

Can't argue with that. Then let me finish. Richard, without giving away my *secret*, let's just say that a woman does not want to have to do all the work. Tilting your head and keeping your mouth shut will never get you anywhere. See, Michelle likes it when I kinda pry open her... oh sorry, where was I? That's right. Trust me on this one, Richard. Move a little, you'll be surprised how much it'll turn what's her face on.

Oh, and try to avoid that wiping thing you do. While it's amusing to watch, I doubt that it makes Cassie feel very desirable. You see, what Danny and I do, we keep all our saliva in our mouths, exchanging periodically of course.

Of course.

And I think our biggest secret is that we are truly sexually attracted to each other. It came easy for us, but if you keep on trying, we know you can do it! Just practice, practice, practice!

Right sweetie. So, let's recap..... move a little, no more wiping, and try to look at her like you would, say, oh.... your brother!

So, keep practicing! Let us know how that wedding thing goes ok? We'll be safely tucked away under the covers back here in good ol' Springfield.

by The Royal Physician

June 1, 2000

by Cassie Layne

June 1, 2000