13 ways to
Ruin a Royal Wedding
by Eddy's
Crusaders
May 16, 2000
1.
Phillip Spaulding broadcasts Lizzie's picture all over the island
causing
"the people"
to burst into tears...the wedding is delayed---
indefinitely!
2.
Tammy doesn't trust Mommy to marry Prince Richard because,
"Real"
husbands leave!
3.
Aunt Meta and Abuela Santos show up with Edmund, Rob and the Chippendale
dancers. Seeing the hunky studs Richard comes out of the closet.
4.
With a hint of humidity, Cassie's hair blows up to gargantuan size,
scaring the guests, children and Richard. They all run away, leaving
Cassie with a fro and a bouquet but no wedding night!
5.
Buzz prepares his famous chili for the rehearsal dinner. The next day
the bride and groom are overcome with a severe case of "gas"!
The wedding is delayed---indefinitely!
6.
Susan tries to punch Beth, misses her and accidentally hits Cassie in
the nose.
7.
Pilar channels Ben who shouts, "I object on the grounds of
sluttiness!"
8.
Drew disrupts the wedding with shouts of "Me! Me!, Me!" for no
reason. Picking up her ponytail, she gives it a good spin... the sheer
speed with which it spins causes her to be lifted out of the Piazza.
9.
Pay off one or more of the poor children of San Cristobal with fresh
water and crayons to run up behind Cassie, step on her train and remind
"the people"
what they're REALLY getting in Princess Cassie--a first class stripper.
10.
Holly upon seeing Tammy's horrendous hair-do's and ugly school uniform
kidnaps her. She takes the child back to Springfield so she can look
like "little kids should".
11.
Selena surprises the guests at the bridal shower with obscure sex tips
from her working days...the woman are too busy trying them out to attend
the wedding the next day!
12.
Madness and mayhem ensue when it's discovered that Cassie and Richard
can't continue with the wedding because all of the mirrors and doors
have been stolen from the palace. Meanwhile, in the dungeon, sick to
death of being Cassie's sounding board, Blake is cackling to herself as
she prepares to write a tell-all book about her latest hijinks.
13.
Michelle Bauer Santos arrives at the wedding and promptly vomits on
Cassie's Princess Diana copycat gown..."Sorry Cass...morning
sickness!"
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