The Mannyac Cosmo
Quiz
by Tah and Shay
January 26, 2000
Shay and I thought it was time for
all of us to check our Mannyacalishness. Winter is the perfect time for
self reflection and improvement. Take our quiz below to see where you
fall in terms of your Manny devotion. Remember, have fun, and it is
"All about the Manny!"
Should You Be Hanging With The
Mannyacs or Chillin At The Mall?
As a Mannyac, your priorities are:
| (A) |
Manny, your spouse/family, your
friends, then your job/schoolwork. |
| (B) |
Your spouse/family, your
friends, your job/schoolwork, then Manny. |
| (C) |
To make sure that you have set
the VCR with tape inserted to record GL, have all the latest
mags featuring Manny purchased and stored where small children
and animals cannot rip and chew them, take the phone off the
hook during GL, have plenty of boxed Mac "n" Cheese
handy for family dinners (even kids can make this stuff while
you re-watch Manny for the 10th time), have plenty of sedatives
on stock for combating the effects of "Drew The
Shriek", and Carmen The Oh So Evil One (thanks to HJ and
crew for this descriptive), and most importantly, live and
breathe Manny by osmosis through all your Internet contacts. |
| (D) |
Not ignoring your spouse/loved
one, or children, and seeing to it that their needs and wants
are met with a smile and no complaints at all times, day and
night. |
Your friends invite you out for a
night on the town, the same night you have a Manny film fest planned. Do
you..
| (A) |
Accept their invitation gladly,
shelving Manny for another time. |
| (B) |
Tell them thank you for the
invite but your son/daughter/niece/nephew aren’t feeling well
and you promised to make them popcorn and watch Pinocchio with
them one more time. (is your nose growing yet?) |
| (C) |
Tell them your Aunt Martha and
Uncle Buford have dropped in unexpectedly armed with bean dip
and slides from their two week trip to Cancun. You couldn’t
possibly disappoint them. |
| (D) |
Tell them the truth and listen
as the laugh at you uproariously for ten minutes straight on the
phone. |
What do your friends/family know
about your Manny obsession?
| (A) |
Every drool-worthy, ahhh
inspired, head tilting, eye-popping, thudding detail. |
| (B) |
They think they’re your
CO-workers because you talk about them so much. |
| (C) |
Nada. You keep your obsession a
highly guarded secret. |
| (D) |
Only, that in your sleep you
sometimes call out "Oh, Danny boy, take me you big hunk of
Mafia lovin!" |
A contest catches your eye. The
prize? A guest spot on GL. All you have to do is send in a video
of you acting out a scene from the show. What’s your plan?
| (A) |
Find the closest thing to a PAS
look-alike and re-enact the Shower Scenes, his Danny to your
Michelle.(Don’t forget your loofah.) |
| (B) |
Set-up a camcorder and give an
impassioned performance of Michelle’s "I Am Your
Wife" speech. If you have to, ask your hubby/little
brother/Uncle Buford to stand off camera and pretend to be PAS. |
| (C) |
Recruit your friends and family
to re-create the SC Ball scenes, complete with feathered masks
and gyrating dance moves (don’t forget to re-play scenes of
The Millennium dancers to get your groove thing down before
filming your finished product). |
| (D) |
Send a video of yourself, devoid
of make-up, standing against a white background, mumbling
incoherently about your love for Manny. |
It’s Saturday night and you
miraculously find yourself alone with no plans. What’s your mood?
| (A) |
Bummed, big time. You can’t
imagine having to spend the night alone. |
| (B) |
Ecstatic. You hear the oreos,
jello shooters and Manny edits calling your name. |
| (C) |
Chillin. Aunt Martha, Uncle
Buford and the gang are coming over for spicy buffalo wings and
brewskis’. |
| (D) |
You’re not thrilled, but you
did want to finish knitting great-grandmas shawl anyway. |
Quick-take inventory of all your
interests outside of Manny. Which statement best describes you?
| (A) |
I lead a full-rounded life,
filled with family activities, school/work functions, church
events, and plenty of free time to pursue leisure interests. |
| (B) |
I’m a workaholic/study aholic,
and only have time for the basic social niceties like,
"Hi", and "Bye". |
| (C) |
My week belongs to my
employer/school, my weekend belongs to my friends/family. |
| (D) |
I have no outside interests,
unless you count going to the grocery/convenience stores to buy
mags with Manny in them, scheduling my day around watching GL,
posting and chatting in the early morning, mid-morning, at noon,
mid-afternoon, early evening, primetime, and late evening. |
Your fave TV show other than GL is:
| (A) |
ER: cause that Dr. Luca is one
hunk a hunk of burnin’ love. |
| (B) |
The Jerry Springer Show: You
can’t get enough of watching first hand the results of
inbreeding. |
| (C) |
There are actually other shows
on TV? |
| (D) |
Angel: Now there’s another guy
who looks great in leather. |
After going to the movies with
friends, you’re most likely to comment on:
| (A) |
The in-depth character
development of the lead roles. |
| (B) |
The complexity of the storyline
and the underlying themes that made it a brilliant piece of film
work. |
| (C) |
Gee, I think PAS would have made
a great leading man in this film, and JL would have been
wonderful as his muse. |
| (D) |
How you will kill your
husband/significant other if they taped a football/basketball
game over your Manny edit while you were out. |
Before going to bed, you’re most
likely to unwind by:
| (A) |
Writing in your Simple Abundance
journal the five things you were thankful for that day. |
| (B) |
Having your hubby/significant
other give you a foot massage. |
| (C) |
Watching the "Mrs. Silva
Almost Love Scenes", "The Shower Scenes", any
Lighthouse Scenes, the Bauer House Good-bye Scenes, well, all
Manny Scenes! |
| (D) |
Having a cup of hot cocoa, and
reading Martha Stewart’s latest book, "Easy Computer Room
Decorating Tips". (Find out which wall border works best in
incandescent light. Find easy ways to decorate your keyboard and
monitor which will surely enhance your distinctive personality.
Learn how to clean your "mouse" without messy results.
Find the computer desk which suits your lifestyle best.) |
When you’re watching GL and a
special report comes on, you’re most likely to:
| (A) |
Watch for a minute to see if
it’s anything really earth-shattering. |
| (B) |
Pray that only Reva or Drew
scenes were on, and that no Manny scenes were interrupted. |
| (C) |
Scream bloody murder, and curse
not only the reporter, but his family too! |
| (D) |
Cry, until you remember that
Kris writes brilliant re-caps, that Andrea, RaRa and crew do a
great job with the BBB’s, and that many kind Mannyacs will
send you copies of the show! |
You check out horoscopes to:
| (A) |
You think they’re campy and
you just want a good laugh. |
| (B) |
Because you religiously follow
and believe the advice found in the stars. |
| (C) |
Find out if you and PAS’s
signs are compatible. (Of course for male Mannyacs, if you and
JL’s signs are compatible.) |
| (D) |
Find out if you’re ever going
to come into a large windfall so that you can pack up and head
to NYC to live. |
You often ask your friends questions
like:
| (A) |
How many chucks would a
woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? |
| (B) |
Is it really true that Kraft
Cheese slices are made with 5 oz. of milk, yet they are a food
product and not really a cheese product? (thanks Candy, Terri
and Kristie for making me ponder the tough questions.) |
| (C) |
What is the meaning of life? |
| (D) |
Life is spelled M-A-N-N-Y,
right?? |
Ouch! You just lost your high paying
job, and discovered that your maxed out Master Card and Visa Bills have
come two months past due. What’s your instinct?
| (A) |
Pack your bags and head for
Bolivia to live in obscurity and anonymity. |
| (B) |
Face the collectors with a brave
face and offer to sell your hubby/wife/significant others
vintage Corvette to pay the bills. |
| (C) |
Pack your office up, go home,
unplug the phones, don’t answer the door, and have a Manny
film fest. |
| (D) |
Offer up your body to science
before the loan sharks and unemployment counselors come to get
you. |
You’re an hour early meeting
friends at the mall. What do you do?
| (A) |
Go to Ann Taylor and buy those
$120.00 slacks you saw on their sale rack. (gasp) |
| (B) |
Look for black slimming outfits
to wear to The Mannyac Convention, and The Gathering. |
| (C) |
Go to the Leather Goods stores
like Wilson Leather, and The Gap. Try on the jackets. Inhale the
leather fragrance, finger the softness of the jackets. Imagine
Paul in them, his arms around you! Wooo Hoooo!!! |
| (D) |
Go to Baskin Robbins and ask
them if the have any Fudge Ripple chocolate ice cream! |
You overhear two CO-workers praising
the characters of Reva, Drew, and Carmen for their complexity and
intense on screen magnetism. How do you react?
| (A) |
Choking back your bile, you rush
to the bathroom and promptly loose your lunch in the toilet. |
| (B) |
You confront them telling them
"It aint all about the scene chewer, the shrew, or the
gun-totting, mafia mama, threat spewing women of Springfield.
It’s about MANNY, MANNY, MANNY, damnit!" |
| (C) |
You hold your tongue, after all
you just came back from that Company sponsored Anger Management
Convention in Peoria. (Didn’t you have a good time?) |
| (D) |
You go on your way, yet after
hours you toilet paper their desks, draw mustaches on their
loved ones pictures, and put shaving cream in their drawers.
(We’re not vindictive fans, are we?) |
Holy Pepperoni! When you go to the
local Pizza Parlor Saturday Night for dinner, and hanging out with
friends, you order:
| (A) |
A traditional pepperoni pizza,
extra pepperoni. |
| (B) |
A healthy veggie pizza chock
full of bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, and olives. |
| (C) |
Throw caution to the wind and
order that spicy hot Italian sausage sandwich. (Now what could
have prompted that?!) |
| (D) |
Forgo the pizza altogether and
just order a pitcher of diet coke to go along with those "smartie"
candies you’ve suddenly been craving. |
Do you consider yourself to be:
| (A) |
A level-headed, calm, cool, and
collected individual? |
| (B) |
A leather loving, jaw jutting,
ice chewing, wet curl admiring, red-blooded American woman? |
| (C) |
One who can’t get enough pink
clad, prada wearing, Bauer burger eating, giggly, cute, squeaky
loving women by the name of Michelle? |
| (D) |
A maniacal, I mean mannyacal TV
watching, tape reviewing, FF, Slo-mo, finger punching, letter
rip writing, thread posting, chatting fool? |
Which of the following Springfield
women do you most consider a role model?
| (A) |
Pilar: for her devotion to God
(to Bill, to God, to Bill, to God, and so on, and so on). |
| (B) |
Carmen: her strong arm, devious,
self-serving tactics are one’s you want to emulate. |
| (C) |
Michelle: She’s not only kind
to Ice Cream Shop owners, and shrieking shrews, but she’s got
the "mojo" to keep "The Man". |
| (D) |
Vanessa: her quiet serenity
makes you think of the peacefulness of just "being".
(Too bad you need to be in a coma to experience it.) |
Your personal life philosophy could
best be summed up with which motto?
| (A) |
"Let go, and let
Danny." |
| (B) |
"Carpe Diem." (Seize
The Day) |
| (C) |
"Nothing’s illegal-unless
you get caught." (Carmen Santos’s daily mantra.) |
| (D) |
"Do unto others, as you
would have done unto you." (Remember this advice Drew.) |
Recently, you find yourself
contemplating baby names, specifically Danielle and Daniel Jr., because:
| (A) |
You’ve just found a + sign on
your EPT stick. |
| (B) |
Your dearest friend has just
announced that at the age of 45 she is pregnant, and REALLY
HAPPY! (Better her than you!) |
| (C) |
If we wish hard enough and cross
our fingers and toes, and do the pinky swear TPTB will give us
our MANNY BABY!!! |
| (D) |
You need a life! |
Answer True or False to the
following statements/questions:
- Contrary to popular belief we have
never seen Danny’s tongue. T/F (this is for you HJ!)
- You’ve memorized every word and
nuance of the "I Am A Man" speech? T/F
- Your children know you are not to be
interrupted during GL for anything other than imminent death. T/F
- Your Manny tapes are in a safe
deposit box? T/F
- In the event of a fire, you would
save Fran’s Manny tapes before your Wedding album? T/F
- Just hearing the name Drew gives you
a migraine and causes acid reflux? T/F
- Your dream lover is about 6ft. tall,
wears leather, is colorblind , and has the most gorgeous curls? T/F
- Admit it, you bought Starbucks Dolce
De Leche Ice Cream? T/F
- You maxed out your credit cards to
got to The Gathering. T/F
- You are desperately trying to pay
off your credit cards so you can go to this years Gathering? T/F
- You can no longer pronounce the word
maniac? T/F
How To Score This Quiz:
Add up your points to see how Manny obsessed you really are.
For every "a" answer give
yourself 1 point.
For every "b" answer give yourself 2 points.
For every "c" answer give yourself 4 points.
For every "d" answer give yourself 3 points.
For every True answer give yourself 1 point.
For every False answer give yourself 0 points.
If you got 20 points or less:
What are you doing on this board, LOL?? Who are you fooling?! Your love
for Manny is obviously in it’s infant stages. All is not lost though.
To become a true card carrying Mannyac do your homework. Re-watch the
Manny story from the beginning, saturate yourself in Manny websites, and
read all the threads and posts you can manage before your eyes bug out
of your head.
If you scored 21-50 points: Your
love for Manny is strong, yet you are able to balance your real life and
Manny with grace and decorum. You keep your priorities straight, family
first, Manny second. You are to be envied, or slapped, dependent on the
phases of the moon.
If you scored 51-80 points: Your
obsession for Manny has gone beyond recommended levels. We suggest you
make an appointment with Dr. Mary Mannyac for a consultation. It also
wouldn’t hurt to take a full day off from Manny related activities. We
know, this could prove painful, but we’ll contact Alicat for some
drugs, Portia for some oxygen, and Jenn for some drinks to help get you
through this difficult time. Just call us at 1-800-MANNYAC to make your
appointment today!!
If your score is 81-90: Has
your family been eyeing you strangely? Has their speech become peppered
with words like, intervention, psychiatric care, lithium?? If this
profile fits you, we may have just the cure. Come to the Mannyac
Convention and bond with all the other fellow psychotic Manny lovers who
will be there. Remember, seek help, and trouble will surely find you!!
Just in case you have to make a quick getaway, Shay and I have the Volvo
gassed up and ready to go!!
|